Thursday, September 22, 2011

Bad Mom Move #2455

Husband is obsessed with the hottest of the hot. Husband's coworker brings him Thai chilies. I proceed to find uses for said chilies every night for about a week while keeping the children's portions of the same meal chili free. This method of food preparation takes finesse.

The Meal:
Stir-fry Szechuan beef over rice with pre-made store bought veggie egg rolls. I know.. one day I'll have time to learn to make my own eggrolls.. maybe.

The Whining:
Usually Holly does not like homemade Chinese inspired dishes. She mopes and pushes the food around the plate until she has successfully thinned the food out enough to make it appear as if she has eaten some. Strangely, she ate this meal without complaints until she took a bite of the egg roll.
Her: 'This is hot, so hot."
Me: "Blow on it."
Her: "No! It's spicy hot."
Me: "Oh Holly, it is not. Just eat it."
Her (extra whiny): "It really IS hot."
Me (getting annoyed: "You only have a half of an egg roll to eat. EAT it!"
Holly (drama queen): "But it's burning my mouth!"
Me (getting annoyed): "Stop whining and eat your food!"
She ate the egg roll as dramatically as she could manage, waving her hand at her tongue and chugging her milk. She also managed a couple of deep shivering breaths with body trembles, but she ate it.

The Foul:
When cleaning the kitchen later that night I realized that I used the same knife to cut the egg roll in half that I used to cut the chilies for the adult portions of the beef stir-fry. Doh!

Here is a picture of a pair of the chilies from that offending bunch.
photo by CTMom

Sunday, September 18, 2011

I haiku, can you?

Even my Poopsie #2, Holly, can write a lovely haiku.
On this voice thread, Holly recites her haiku which accompanies her painting of a conch shell. She is the second student featured.

Art and Poetry

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Blueberry Love and Loathing

Blueberries were everywhere this summer... everywhere. Sadly, I do not love them. Blueberries are among those foods with magical health maintaining properties and they are simply lovely. How many natural blue things does one get to eat anyway? Why can't I love them? I do wish that I did.
And so, I wrote haiku after haiku to deal with my conflicted feelings. I took some pictures too.

Pigment is vivid.
I see how pretty you are.
Taste should match the look.

I get it, you grow
wild and free in my backyard.
I will still snub you.

I keep you around
Because my kids think you're fab.
Look at that fun face.
Wish I could enjoy.
I watch them nom nom away.
I haz a jealous.

Guess you’re not all bad.
I enjoy you in smoothies
and namesake muffins.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Sinkhole: Friend or Foe?

A few weeks ago, I posted on Fbook that one of my new greatest fears is of the sinkhole and its ability to randomly appear and dispel the idea that there is such a thing as “solid ground.” 

I never used to be afraid of sinkholes. As a teen, I used to work as a tour guide in a cave where a sinkhole was responsible for a set of skeletal remains found 100 or so years ago. The theory was that the body had been buried (as in purposely placed underground by someone who intended it to be UNDERGROUND) and the bones simply oozed down further into the soil with the rain water. I imagine this descent as a slow, completely non- violent action with absolutely no rushing water or sudden falling. Also, at that time, I was already underground most of the time. The idea of ending up someplace where I already was did not seem frightening. To me, the cave had a bottom… and that bottom was the bottom of everything.. ever… like that’s it… solid all the way to the core.

My fear was born after the images of the freaky holes in Guatemala popped up all over the interwebs.  Why do they appear all of a sudden? I wondered. Why are they so deep? And, why are they sooooo round? Really, so many of the sinkholes in Central and South America are bizarre in their circular uniformity. Now, I’m not one for conspiracy theories but HmmHmmmHmmm…. Circle shapes that appear randomly and without warning seem unnatural. So, naturally, I developed the unreasonable fear that the earth could just disappear below my feet and, provided I am not too big around to fit down the whole, I could be sucked down thousands of feet to the Earth’s core.  Here is a video that explains a theory on the horrifying formation of sinkholes.  This theory seems plausible but I can’t help but imagine that giant alien round worms just need to surface from time to time to make contact with their mother-ship.

Strangely, when the video narrator discusses the erosion of the bedrock, the bedrock itself resembles the Shroud of Turin, which may be irrelevant but I still think it’s suspicious and weird.  

Recent events have led me to rethink my position on sinkholes. Thanks to the tremendous amount of rain we have had in the area recently, a sinkhole appeared in the entrance to our school causing schools to close for the day. No one was sucked into the hole. Though there were rumors started about crocodiles, the sinkhole was not creepy or deep nor was it perfectly round. Thanks to the sinkhole, I got to sleep until 6:30 and visit my kids at school for lunch. I also got to have coffee with a friend and spend a day pretending to be a stay-at-home mom. The day was nice and relaxing. All the while, the sinkhole was being repaired and I had nothing to be afraid of.

Update: Turns out though, the sinkhole was not really a sinkhole to begin with. The “sinkhole” was a leaking culvert under the road. Because this sinkhole was not really a sinkhole, and it was not perfectly round, I do not suspect alien round worms. All I need is an explanation ya’ll.
Here is a link to more terrible sinkholes (mostly round in shape and located in Guatemala).

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Interpreting EVPs is a self-serving science...

Somehow, boredom found me sitting on the couch and browsing free Amazon apps for my phone. Ghost Radar caught my attention at once mostly because I tried to invent this app a couple of years ago but was unable to due to my total lack of app development knowledge and any real understanding of paranormal sciences.
Anyway, I decided it’s free and I have space so I then allowed myself have this tool. Immediately upon installing the app, the Ghost Radar evp thingy began speaking. It said… “suit.” Hmmmmm…  Then little dots appeared on the radar and the phone said “need” followed quickly by the word “dark.” I immediately interpreted this to mean that an entity knows I need a new dark swimsuit since I noticed this very morning that my current dark suit has been somewhat eaten by chlorine.
The ghost radar fell silent after this proclamation and it really hasn’t had much to say since that moment.  Later that night I showed the app to my husband who immediately said “Hey! Someone stole your idea!” Yes, (heavy sigh) yes they did. You see I often invent brilliant things but have no means for bringing them to the marketplace as tangible money making products.  We tried the app again and the phone said “Sir,” “Purpose,” and “Charles.”  State your purpose Sir Charles? Meh…..
Occasionally, I will remember that I have this app on my phone and will use it. If responses are clear and easy to interpret like the one which assured me that I must stop what I am doing and shop for a new bathing suit, I will pay close attention and keep you informed.

Monday, September 5, 2011

More Empty Promises?

What have I been doing the last year? Not procrastinating that's for sure!
I was actually hired to teach children things, managed to finish my thesis, graduated, ran a half marathon and joined the swim team. I also met billions, or perhaps merely dozens, of new friends and have not spent much time at all in front of the computer. It has been a wonderful and productive year.* These achievements have greatly reduced the speed of any novel writing but at least one of my side bar goals has been met. ***Less time in front of the computer doing mindless things.*** I have spent an overwhelming amount of time doing things on a computer which some might consider meaningful, so I feel no guilt.
Readerless blog be damned, I will visit and publish more! I promise.
Still working on the other goals listed. Strangely, the crazy exercise has only helped increase my appetite for delicious treats; however, I hope to lessen the glutinous intake as soon as the new school year starts on Monday.

Here is a pic of the weird:

This is a portrait of me! It is obviously a vanity shot taken with my Droid which has one of those reverse camera thingies. I have decided that photos taken straight on are less vain then the bathroom mirror shots. I post this picture now because I want you to note the mirrored unicorn wall hanging in the background. I spent the a weekend with it three weeks ago. It has been hanging on my bedroom wall in my parents home for about ummm 25 years. The unicorn witnessed the transition of pink marbled carpet to berber, waterbed to brass headboard, press board filigreed furniture to a honey oak mission dresser set. The unicorn mirror also has, trapped within some kind of multifaceted creepy refraction prism, all my teenage idealistic hopes and dreams. Most of them can stay right where they are... I have nothing more to say about the mirrored unicorn wall hanging except that I think it bizarre my mom has changed EVERYTHING about that room except that creepy old county fair prize unicorn wall hanging. I suspect something bad might happen to anyone who tries to remove it...Carnival curse? I also suspect my mother knows this.

*'cept for the food poisoning. That sucked.