Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Where does the time go?

My son's shoes are missing.
I've spent approximately 20 minutes looking for them.
I feel I spend most of my life looking for things that are right in front of me. I'm not trying to be deep for saying that because I know it's not original at all. I just wish I could save myself the time and see things clearly the first time around.
Damn you haze in this house that hides the shoes. Damn you!!!!

Friday, February 16, 2007

Crappity Crap Crap

Argh! I got into the shower with my glasses on, again.

I stepped from the shower dripping wet and placed the glasses on the side of the tub.
Then, I cut my leg shaving. Should I have kept them on?

Since "Crappity" isn't a word, can I spell it any way I want?

Thursday, February 15, 2007


Have I written my 1000 words today? Nope...

I still plan to and in my defense I've been busy being a wife of deathly ill uber baby husband and mother to preschooler with a delayed Valentine's Day party.

Today I'll provide some vague details on my current WIP. I have two. Both are YA (Young Adult) novels and one is a tad more hip than the other.

I've just started one novel based on a whimmy little idea I had while taking a shower. It's fun, fresh and very timely so I need to get on it asap. I'm currently at approx 3000 words. I have a long way to go.

The other wip is my love. It's the first in a trilogy, includes a female protagonist and is an interesting mix of YA and Fantasy. It's Harriet Potter meets Clan of the Cave Bear meets Bridget Jones. I'll give no more details on the content of the novel except that it is half finished but with my new resolution to stop procrastinating I should finish the draft this Spring.
The problems that plague my writing are the following:
TENSE... Maintaining the correct tense throughout a lengthy novel is difficult for me. At least I'm aware of this problem and I keep it in my radar as I edit.
WORD COUNT... My novels are very dialog driven and I seem to be headed toward a low word count. I'm a little over half finished and I'm sittin' on approx 27,000 words. I was hoping for at least 60,000. I need to give an editor plenty of hacking room, right? I've read inconsistent opinions from the industry on minimum word counts. I suppose I should just write the story and let an agent or editor tell me if I need more.. or less.
SPELLING... erm.. I'm a writer who can't speel (sic) It's true.
PROOFREADING.. I can not proofread my own work until more than a month has passed, otherwise I see nothing wrong with the following sentence: "I fell threw the open door and everyone gaped at at the whole in my pants." I can edit the work of others but not my own.

Alright, that's all for now. I'm going to write my 1000 words for the day. Woohooo! I've got some motivation and a Healthy Choice pizza in the microwave!

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Save Perez Soap - for the curious

The video that made me famous. Well, almost:

note: I had a cold while filming thus the husky man voice...

Who is Cozytailmom?

I'm one of hundreds, perhaps thousands of blogging writers trying to get published. I'll keep you updated on my progress as the days go by. I'm so excited to finally have an official blog... and I don't mean the neener crap I've written on myspace.

I haven't got a clue what to write on my first blog. Argghh!! I hope this doesn't make or break me.

Here's my scoop.
I'm 31 and a mother of two. I love my children but I've been home bound with them for nearly five years and I'm ready to get back into the world and reclaim myself. I recently told my husband that I feel like this: A dog who has weened her puppies but they continue to run about under her feet trying to grab a teat while she snaps and desperately looks for a place to hide. Yes, that's me... a dog with droopy teats. Oh no, I mean, a mom who wants to get back on her feet.

So, I considered going back to work but feel like I forgot to write the great novel I promised my corporate America friends. You see, I foolishly thought I would have time to write a novel with small ones running around. Before I can do anything, I'll write a list. Oh how I love a list.
The following are my goals to be achieved relatively soon.... (should I set a date? I know, I know.. )

Finish novel (by April before my 32nd Bday)
Get Agent (whenever one will have me..)
Get Published
Loose 30 Pounds (How about May-ish)
Let hair grow out (that should be easy as I have the fastest growing hair in the WORLD! I kid you not)
Maybe go back to work but DEFINITELY get out of this house more.

I also have an online soap business and had the briefest glimmer of fame when Perez Hilton posted a YouTube video I made on his BLOG (which is my total guilty pleasure..) For about 48 hours I was a Youtube sensation along the lines of Paperlilies and LoneyGirl15. Soap orders rolled in and I was swimming in business for about a week. It was exciting and exhausting all at the same time. After the video fell off YouTubes Most Watched list, the orders ceased and I have returned.. Cozytailmom. The brief success helped me realize one thing. I will not make be able to sustain soap making. It is a lot of work for not enough dough. I'll continue offering the soap on SudsForVenus and occasionally list them on ebay but I don't plan to do anymore publicity stunts to get orders. From this point forth, I have committed myself to the above listed goals.

Now, occationally I will write very boring blogs. It can happen, just read the above paragraphs. When that happens I will attempt to reward you with a funny if I can.

Happy Valentines Day!!!!!