Thursday, January 9, 2014

I Say Tomato. You Should Write Tomato.

I used to think my students were not paying attention to my lectures. Now, I suspect that maybe my northern Appalachia accent is too foreign for my southern Appalachia kids. Hysterically horrible answers on quizzes and study guides lead me to believe I should practice my enunciation.

Sir Gawain and the Green Knight question:
Where does the Green Knight live?
Correct Answer: The Green Chapel
Student answer: The Grinch Apple

Beowulf question:
What kind of place is Herot?
Correct Answer : A mead hall
Student Answer: A meat hole
What?!?!?! … and yuck! haha

My accent can’t explain this wrong answer.
The Canterbury Tales question:
Did the prioress behave appropriately for a nun? 
Student Answer:  No, because he was a fat greedy man.

Or this one from my AP kids:
Odyssey question:
Give me one clue that demonstrates the cyclop's lack of civility.
Student Answer: He drank wine from a can.
Sigh.... What does it say about me if I have enjoyed a glass of wine from a solo cup?

Someday I’ll write a book about my teaching experiences. It will be called “Diary of a Lunatic,” or maybe, “Did I Just Have to Say That Out Loud?”

I so wish I could post my daily stories without risk of a lawsuit because this material is fantastic, and you know what? I can’t make this stuff up. Gotta love these kids.

I might as well start squirreling stories away before teaching induced dementia or academia amnesia sets in.