The ghost squirrels didn’t get me. I’m writing this because
you seemed nervous. Anyone get The Princess Bride reference?
No, there are no ghost squirrels; however, real squirrels have wreaked havoc on
our pumpkins this year. The pumpkins were not sitting on the porch for 30
minutes before something chowed down on the jack-o-lantern’s tooth. If it wasn’t
a squirrel, it was definitely the tailless chipmunk which has moved into a
formally snake infested crevasse under our front porch.
October is my favorite month. I love everything about it sans mention of zombies. Give me crispy leaves, smelly pumpkin guts, muddy apple orchards, and crisp drizzly air. Just leave out the zombies.
Clarification on zombies: Half skeletal zombies with black ooze don’t scare me. If one was actually approaching me, I would likely pee my pants, but as fictional creatures I am immune to their gory gazes, jerking body movements, and wispy white hair. The zombies that scare me are the “mostly deads,” or “recently deads;” the creatures that were formally your aunt, uncle, bff, or parent just a couple of hours ago but have now suddenly gone rigid and have developed a taste for brains. THEY FREAK ME OUT! If you’ve been mostly dead all day, stay that way…. weirdo.
The pumpkin is starting to get that “mostly dead” look about it and is giving me the creeps. You should see it on my porch at night. :<
October is my favorite month. I love everything about it sans mention of zombies. Give me crispy leaves, smelly pumpkin guts, muddy apple orchards, and crisp drizzly air. Just leave out the zombies.
Clarification on zombies: Half skeletal zombies with black ooze don’t scare me. If one was actually approaching me, I would likely pee my pants, but as fictional creatures I am immune to their gory gazes, jerking body movements, and wispy white hair. The zombies that scare me are the “mostly deads,” or “recently deads;” the creatures that were formally your aunt, uncle, bff, or parent just a couple of hours ago but have now suddenly gone rigid and have developed a taste for brains. THEY FREAK ME OUT! If you’ve been mostly dead all day, stay that way…. weirdo.
The pumpkin is starting to get that “mostly dead” look about it and is giving me the creeps. You should see it on my porch at night. :<
Here is a video from my past of a squirrel devouring one of our pumpkins. Look at that fatty fat go to work! He is the honey badger of the rodent kingdom. He just doesn't give a poop and gets right in that pumpkin. Sorry for the sideways vid and the poor quality. This video was taken in the early days when I did not know any better. I would have buried it away in my "I had nothing to do with these" files but it seemed appropriate to place here.
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