Dignity: Have a Care

The first time I chaperoned a high school dance, I wanted to go home and wash my eyes out with bleach. I won't specifically discuss the things I saw, but needless to say, the event was short on dignity. This is coming from someone who always looks at celebrity wardrobe malfunctions and laughs at anything penis-shaped. I am no prude but man that dancing was dirty, and I don't mean Baby and Johnny dirty... waaaay dirtier.

After the dance, I joked that maybe we could have a contest, one that would be sure to get me fired, a Dignity Contest. At the start of the dance, all students would be given dignity pins. If a student did something that made a chaperone feel icky all over, the chaperone could seize that student's dignity pin. Any student who still had their dignity at the end of the night would be entered into a drawing for a really fantastic prize, like an ipad or something equally awesome.

When a dance is over, most kids can return to their age-appropriately dignified selves. The chaperones' opinions of those students are forever altered, but as long as that student isn't hoping for a recommendation from said adult, their opinions probably don't matter. 

If the momentary loss of dignity was limited to the dance floor, most students recover damage free. Now, thanks to social media, students, recent grads and adults are losing their dignity and leaving bad impressions on people who are important like employers and other relations.

After reading some ridiculous tweets about a recent grad's relationship status that's on/off in five minute intervals and a vague whiny post by an adult complaining about life (in middle class suburbia) being hard,* I felt compelled to actually do something that makes me feel better, even if it doesn't change anyone's behavior.

I have drafted a new, relevant and practical standard of learning for VA high school seniors and anyone over the age of 18.

SOL 12.9 The student will maintain self dignity on social media sites.

12.9 a. study examples of job loss as a result of melodrama, explicit photos, or crude language
12.9 b. evaluate relationship deterioration as a result of melodrama and public airing of dirty laundry
12.9 c. find contentment without constant, vague sympathy baiting
12.9 d. accept that once something is online, it is not private and it will always be online, even if it has been deleted
12.9 e. discontinue griping about rights to privacy on free social media sites. Analyze the definition of social and media

Truly, the worst offenders are adults because they should friggin' know better, but I see this crap every time I'm online.

I will absolutely post these in my classroom.

Should I add this one?
12.9 f. expect creepy, deranged rants to be used against you in court by prosecutors as evidence or to demonstrate lack of character

...and now I'll hop off the soapbox and stop ranting ('cause it's not dignified behavior..)

*I'm not heartless to the suffering of others. I know people who seem to have it all can have a bad day, but constant whining for attention and still not revealing the cause of your anguish after several people ask "what's wrong?" is just narcissistic behavior and extremely undignified. Back to the relevance of language arts: Ask yourself... would Scarlett O'Hara tweet this? No, she would not, nor would Harry Potter, Thor, Iron Man, Spawn, Thorin Oakenshield or any other fictitional character you might admire. Bilbo Baggins might... yes, he might sympathy bait a little.

Query Revision

Revising has been harder. sigh...

Writing a query has been harder than most things I've done, and I spent a summer measuring mouse testicles. http://t.co/0lBOm71lv1 Critique?
— Christina W Acker (@ChristieAcker) July 22, 2013

BTW...  they are measured in milometers and I simply just pushed on their little tummies until the teeny gonads popped out. I was only bitten twice and this was all for science, I swear.

Newest query.... is here.

Query Ripped by Michelle Hauck

The query for my novel is being ripped apart, and I appreciate the critiques so much.
Visit Mandy Hauck, and see it for yourself. You can also add a word of advice to her blog entry, if you wish. I'll be reading them and editing!

Thanks y'all,
Christie

Summer Query Extravaganza 12 is up. See if you can't provide more help. http://t.co/nUUKCi23Ct
— Michelle Hauck (@Michelle4Laughs) July 12, 2013

Patience is a virtue?

...so is the ability to proofread without missing anything the first time through.

Crap on a stick! I lack both.

I once had a professor who said something like this  “we fall in love with our own words and can not see errors.”

That was not an exact quote, and he may have been quoting someone else. I don’t know, but I do pass this quote on to my students when they write for me. I remind them that they need to write and then put the document away, for at least a day, before returning to it for proofreading. Do they heed this magnificent advice? No, but neither do I.  They don’t wait to proofread because most of them have written the paper 30 minutes before it was due, even though I gave them ample time to complete the work, in class, two days before. I don’t wait to proofread because I can’t wait to put my words out there. Really. It’s like I have a condition that prevents me from sitting on text for a day or even an hour.

I blame the ENFP in me for three things:
1. my lack of patience
2. my tendency to not return to a project if I do not complete it in one sitting

3. my distracted brain

Unfortunately, I do not see errors in my writing right away. I suspect this is because my brain thinks faster than I read. I know what the line should say (because I just friggin’ wrote it) and my brain magically sees the text just the way it aught to be.

As a teacher, this can be a problem because I have to respond to parents, coworkers, students, etc… in a timely manner. I don’t have the luxury of sitting on an email for a day. I have to force myself to practically read emails aloud before sending them to parents. The worst thing ever is when a parent notices an error and calls me on it. This has only happened twice, but I worry, and I mean I really fret. My favorite of the two was the parent who told me my “grammer” (sic) was wrong because I asked a question but ended the sentence in a period. Hehe
I am no grammar, spelling or punctuation tyrant because people make mistakes and I am usually of those people. I am that teacher who will not lower a grade for a typo or two so long as the problems are not due to blatant recklessness or apathy to the work.

As a writer the problem has presented itself in the form of query letters, the one place a writer should not allow a typo to slip by.  I missed one last week. I haven’t heard from the agent, but I can’t believe that she won’t notice. Waaaaah! I saw it in the first paragraph, the day after I sent the query, when I opened it to customize for a different agent.

I wish I could send dynamic emails that could be changed the moment I realized I sent an error.
I also wish Twitter allowed edits to tweets. Maybe I could get my husband, or some techie friend, to work on that.

Wish, wish, wish….

So, this first draft will be pushed live to the blog after a very careful read-through. Still, I’ll look at it tomorrow and gasp at all the errors.

What are some of your quick proofreading tips?